By Dan Hazen / Herald Forum
My expat friend who lives in Berlin recently wrote to me asking about the divisions he sees in American society these days.
We speculated that it’s largely the human condition being expressed in this unique time and place. In other words, humans are always looking for what separates and distinguishes us from one another, then amplifying, exaggerating and eventually becoming hostile over it.
Attuned to this idea, I’ve been observing us more closely and I’ve noticed a few things. It seems that we will, in fact, seize upon any differences and begin to pry them further apart. For example, in my new job, I’ve begun riding the bus each day from Marysville to Everett. Standing at the bus stop made me aware that those of us waiting for the bus are different from all the people driving past in their cars. What amplifies the difference is how many people stare and for how long. The only reasonable explanation is that we (at the bus stop) are different enough to warrant the (I assume) unconscious stares of those driving by.
Supporting my hypothesis is the fact that I used to drive past bus stops and look at people too. I recognize the gaze on the car commuter’s faces as my own, wondering why “they” chose to ride the bus. “Maybe they have no choice? Are they poor and can’t afford a car? Do they have jobs? Where are they from? I wonder if they feel like failures because they ‘have to’ ride a bus? Are they happy or sad about the bus?” Not hostile thoughts. Mostly just curious thoughts, but without question, thoughts based on our perceived differences. Bus People vs. Car People.
Now, as I return the Car People’s stares, I find myself wondering about “them.” “Are they aware of how long they stare? Do they think about how it makes us feel? Do they care about the environment at all? Do they think they’re better than us? I wonder how much that car cost; are they in debt because of it? Are they happy or sad about their car?”
Weeks have now passed since I began observing but I only became aware of how I had seamlessly slipped into focusing on divisions again when, on a recent warm summer morning, I caught a glimpse of my proud, Trump-flag-waving, gun-toting neighbor on his back porch; quietly and skillfully practicing tai chi.
We just don’t know each other’s stories. We think we do, but we don’t. What’s worse, we’re being told that it’s impossible to know each other’s stories. We are so individualized that no one else could ever possibly understand our trauma, our pain, our hopes or our dreams. There’s no hope for belonging. Well, I for one refuse to accept that as true, and I’ll start with myself.
I watched my neighbor just long enough to become aware of the plank in my eye which has been seriously obstructing my view. I’m going to work on that for a while.
Dan Hazen, formerly the community pastor at Allen Creek Community Church in Marysville, is operations manager at Everett Gospel Mission.
Herald Forum
The Herald Forum invites community members to submit essays on topics of importance and interest to them. Essays typically are between 400 and 600 words in length, although exceptions for longer pieces can be made. To submit essays or for more information about the Herald Forum, write Herald Opinion editor Jon Bauer at jon.bauer@heraldnet.com or call him at 425-339-3466.
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