It’s Super Bowl season. (Also, Roman Numeral Season. This is Super Bowl XLVI. Which sounds like an Xbox game, but is a number pronounced “46.”) Time to place your bets. From whence will the controversy come? Offending rendition of “Star-Spangled Banner?” Wardrobe malfunction? Displeasing commercial? Hut one, hut two, hike, hike, the headlines:
•”Matthew Broderick reviving Ferris Bueller in Super Bowl ad?”: Ah, just what fans of the movie have been waiting for — a sell-out commercial, starring a now XLIX-year-old Broderick.
•”AZ inmate arrested for refusing to leave lockup”: So police arrested him … and he remains in jail. That will show him.
•”Revealed: The FBI wants to monitor social media”: A little slow to the game, the Bureau joins hackers, scammers, Facebook, Google, retailers, family and friends already watching your every online move.
•”Google seeks to clarify new privacy policy”: A blogger for the company noted that “Google won’t be collecting any more data about users than it was before.” Is it supposed to be reassuring that they were always collecting data and people may not have been aware of it?
•”Be prepared to sell your soul if you use Google”: Well, that’s how a blogger at Forbes feels about it.
•”Dropped heart successfully transplanted in Mexico”: It turns out that for dropped things in medicine, like in the kitchen, the three-second rule applies.
•”Minnesota bear delivers at least 2 cubs on Internet”: She managed to update her Facebook status at the same time, fire off a critical email to Google about its new privacy policy, Tweet her opposition to Twitter’s new censorship policy, and text the FBI to protest its plans to monitor social media. Who says a modern mother bear can’t have it all?
•”CEO compensation: Starbucks’ Schultz joins $50M-plus club”: How grande for him.
•”The butter was Paula Deen’s shtick”: FoxNews.com wins this week’s “like buttah” headline award.
•”No to love: Uzbekistan nixes Valentine’s Day shows”: Last year, the Turkiston newspaper described Valentine’s Day as the work of “forces with evil goals bent on putting an end to national values.” Oh, so sad.
Let’s, as a humanitarian gesture, send the country millions of boxes of NECCO candy Sweethearts, the ones that say “Sweet Talk” and “Be Mine.”
•”Get married at the new Mob Museum in Las Vegas”: Well, that makes getting married by an Elvis impersonator seem downright romantic.
•”Tip: Reset copier settings before donating”: You don’t want anyone accidentally accessing your “Buns of the Accounting Dept.” copy collection and posting it online, where it will go “viral” for the benefit of all the Internet monitors.
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